Welp, I’m almost at my 3rd trimester and still we’re undecided about what to name our unborn child. Granted, my mother changed her mind on my name right after I was born. They were set on one name throughout the process and then all of a sudden, my mom hit my dad with a curveball. Ideally I’d like it to not come to that, but no matter.
So although we’re still going through names, I feel like our process has been pretty good as far as feelings are concerned. We haven’t thrown our toys out the pram as they say. With that in mind I decided to come up with a little list of things for you all to consider when going through this process so as not to start a civil war in the name of baby naming.
This is a really difficult one. Names are something that although they aren’t really that important in the grand scheme of things (well, when compared to the baby’s well-being), it can still hurt when you dash your partners naming dreams. It’s very important for you both to get in the habit of being polite to each other when you discuss baby names seriously or else it could snowball quite quickly.
Being polite and being honest may seem impossible. For me it sometimes is. I’m the type of person who tells it like it is and then although sometimes I regret how my statements may have been interpreted, ultimately when I say I feel a certain way, you know I feel that way. However, with this it’s so important that you stay polite and honest because if you just go along with your partner’s name just because you want to be polite, your child is stuck with that name forever. This child is just as much yours as it is theirs so saying with all due respect that you strongly dislike a name is very important.
Your ideal name might come really fast, but it also might not and that’s okay. If you’re not sold on a name, don’t settle until you are sure a name fits. Just keep checking those baby naming apps/websites and you’ll come to a conclusion at some point. http://www.babynames.com/ is my personal favorite.
Learn to Compromise
Kind of sounds like I’m contradicting myself, but you might need to compromise on a name in order to keep your sanity. This doesn’t mean letting your partner choose the name, but if your partner and you share the same 3rd place name, perhaps that’s the name that you should pick.
When In Doubt, Sound It Out
This is something my husband and I do often when names are brought to the table. In order to prove whether or not a name is good or bad, we sound the name out with our surnames. It really helps you to have a clear picture of what your baby name will be like. Especially if it’s a name you’re not the biggest fan of. On top of that, think of how the initials of the first name/middle name (if you have one)/surname. You don’t want your kid to have initials spelling out rude words on their backpacks. Just another thing to consider.
Write Out a List
To keep yourselves on track, keep a list handy of the names that you’ve already discussed. This will help keep you from having to constantly discuss names that you might’ve already written off. Perhaps have a list of names you both like, don’t like, and then ones you like individually.
BONUS – Try To Stay Away From Close Family Names
I know this is a traditional thing, but I just feel like using living close relatives’ names (i.e. grandmother/grandfather, etc) is dodgey ground. If you’re both really lucky, you both have sets of parents/grandparents still living and if so, you run the risk of offending someone. “Why is she naming him after her father?” “Why have they chosen Grandma Sophie’s name? I thought they were going to go with Nana Lily’s name.” It’s just an unneccessary fight waiting to happen so in my honest opinion I think it’s best to just stay away from family names even with middle names.
Until next week, Elle is out!