30 weeks-01

30 Weeks – Hitting Rock Bottom

Symptoms //

  • Feeling baby a lot more now
  • Really feeling depressed

Cravings //

  • Anything and everything

Although last week was incredibly busy and amazing, this week I’ve hit a rough patch and I just can’t take it. Although I wish I could be happy for the blog and such, but I can’t ignore just how sad and run down I feel.

30 weeks-02

It all started on Monday. I went back to work and it was the same as it has been for the last couple of years; unappreciated and not wanted. I didn’t even get a birthday card this year due to some drama that happened with one of my coworkers…

This past weekend though, I didn’t feel that way. I felt like I had purpose helping run our Final Fantasy Fan Gathering. We had 80+ people. All happy, all having fun. I was so happy to be a part of it. So many people came to me afterwards and thanked me and my colleagues for putting together this gathering. I just felt like I was actually doing something meaningful and that I had the potential to do even more.

Untitled-1-03

Crashing back down to earth on Monday just hit me so hard… Ever since I’ve felt like all the confidence I had this past weekend has faded and now I just feel emotional. Granted my hormones probably don’t help. Thinking about it now, I really really hope that my kid never has to feel this way. Never has to feel this unappreciated and down. I hope she can be stronger than me and that I can be strong for her.

30 weeks-03

Aside from that, I can’t believe I’m now at 30 weeks. This time has just gone so fast. I only have a few more weeks until I’m on maternity leave and I’m looking forward to having time away from certain toxic people and perhaps rebuild my confidence and enjoy my time with my baby. I know it won’t be a fun filled vacation in the least bit, but still I just can’t wait to meet her. x

 

 

2 replies
  1. Jess
    Jess says:

    Dear Laura,
    I remember the week after finishing my second year, I crashed into this mad sadness, this crushing weight of boredom and feeling totally useless. I spoke to my friend and she gets the same thing after the finishing or a big project with little to do. The self esteem you’ve built and the sense of purpose that comes with a project like that can often lead to a sense of nothingness afterwards that hurts the brain because it’s been working so incredibly hard. What you should do is lie back and congratulate yourself on such an enormous achievement, you provided a fun event that gathered a community, you gave them a day to remember and you deserve some time to reflect. Next week, you can look forward to your next project, build bigger and better ideas, submerse yourself in new thoughts and think about what you want for the next big project. Your baby girl! This will change your life alone, but until then, plan the next FFUK fan event, I cannot wait to see what you guys come up with next.
    Sometimes it helps to look upon life with gratitude and compassion, it sounds cliche but when I get really down I plan new and exciting things to help me look forward, and reflect on the simple things that I must be grateful for.
    Love yourself and be happy lovely girl xxx

    Reply
    • Elle
      Elle says:

      <3 Thank you so much for your lovely post Jess! <3 Made me tear up a bit :3 x I’m taking in what you’ve said. Hopefully after today I’ll feel a bit better… x

      Reply

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