- Feeling baby a lot more now
- Really feeling depressed
- Anything and everything
Although last week was incredibly busy and amazing, this week I’ve hit a rough patch and I just can’t take it. Although I wish I could be happy for the blog and such, but I can’t ignore just how sad and run down I feel.
It all started on Monday. I went back to work and it was the same as it has been for the last couple of years; unappreciated and not wanted. I didn’t even get a birthday card this year due to some drama that happened with one of my coworkers…
This past weekend though, I didn’t feel that way. I felt like I had purpose helping run our Final Fantasy Fan Gathering. We had 80+ people. All happy, all having fun. I was so happy to be a part of it. So many people came to me afterwards and thanked me and my colleagues for putting together this gathering. I just felt like I was actually doing something meaningful and that I had the potential to do even more.
Crashing back down to earth on Monday just hit me so hard… Ever since I’ve felt like all the confidence I had this past weekend has faded and now I just feel emotional. Granted my hormones probably don’t help. Thinking about it now, I really really hope that my kid never has to feel this way. Never has to feel this unappreciated and down. I hope she can be stronger than me and that I can be strong for her.
Aside from that, I can’t believe I’m now at 30 weeks. This time has just gone so fast. I only have a few more weeks until I’m on maternity leave and I’m looking forward to having time away from certain toxic people and perhaps rebuild my confidence and enjoy my time with my baby. I know it won’t be a fun filled vacation in the least bit, but still I just can’t wait to meet her. x